Gift 8 - A little Extra (and just Too Much)

Today I gifted a woman at my work with a side item we usually charge for. I added her small item on to my lunch bill and took care of it.

It felt right in the moment.

I know my boss has no idea why I did that... And she told me that the customer I treated was a regular, and she frequently ordered and returned meals for something different. Enough so that she told her she couldn't anymore. (And my boss is the sweetest woman I know, who goes above and beyond, especially for her regulars)...

I felt cheated.

I have felt taken advantage of a lot lately...

I am a naturally giving person. I bend over backwards and under charge on a regular basis. I have no idea why 29Gifts called out to me...

I guess I liked the idea of 

"realizing I had value and that I had gifts to share with the world."

Recently I found out that I had been misrepresented. Lied about. After taking the time to be sensitive to this person's  feelings, and having discussion with them where they were able to voice their opinions. 

They acted like I was completely unreasonable.

I am extremely angry and hurt. I'm frustrated and disappointed. I'm so full of emotion I find myself wanting to cry at all hours of the day... I'm anxious at night and exhausted throughout the day.

What is the gift I can give them?

What gift can I give myself?

Space.

I am no longer allowing negativity into my life. 

Be it stranger, lifelong friend or family member... I am too understanding and kind, and if I let these people, they will wreck my heart.

I am going to wait and start the 29Gifts again. 

I need to get thru this painful patch of setting limits before I can truly focus my energy on this project.

That might sound like quitting, but I know it's right for me.